Soliloquy

I dunno why i stopped writing and why i am taking the pain to start writing again. Words manage to elude me..and i know i am no longer the same 13 year old girl who whould sit alone in her room pouring her thoughts into the small diary...
I am not the same..
I no longer walk alone through the isolated country roads...
I no longer like to watch the beautiful lake near my house...
I no longer triy to find the end of the paths...
I no longer think death is an exhilarating experience...
I no longer think there is no god..
I thought i was a disturbed child..
But i changed...
At some point in our life we change.. There was a time when i could sit alone looking at sky for hours dreaming..my dreams where not colourfull..it was full of pain. I hurt myself sometimes and i thought i am not normal like other girls. I never found anyone thinking like me. I never talked much to people coz i was shy and i din know how to start a coversation. I could be myself only in front of my close friends.

That was all past. I recently read my good old diary and i wondered how did i write those stuffs back then. I never wrote anything after leaving school..i never got time. I was good in writing malayalam once and i dont think my english is that good. I started this blog because two of my close friends asked me to post all my old writings..and im getting rusted here waiting for TCS to call me.. So here i am..